What to Do - sparkleshinylove

Roxymandy November 11, 2014

Playground Etiquette: Is It Ever Ok To Scold Someone Else’s Child?

This weekend I met up with a friend and we took our kids to a play place for a few hours. Total chaos! Kids of all ages were there, and it was a pretty exhausting couple of hours. We had lots of fun, but one incident has stuck in my head over the last couple of days.

My son is two and a half. He went into one section of the play place where there were lots of soft blocks you could stack and throw around. Two boys, probably six or seven years old, built a fort and were guarding the front if it. There were yelling that no one was allowed inside. Somehow London slipped in behind them and sat inside the fort. The boys were so busy yelling at the other kids that they couldn’t go inside that they didn’t even notice my son was happily sitting inside for a few minutes. Suddenly one of the boys noticed and ran inside. I was watching very closely to make sure my son didn’t get hurt. The first boy started yelling in his face that he wasn’t allowed inside and told him to get out. He pushed my son – pretty gently to be honest – but I still poked my head inside and said “please don’t touch him, he’s much younger than you and he just wants to play”. The boy looked at me and stopped what he was doing. His father who was sitting on a couch sipping a coffee just behind the fort called out to his son and told him to “be nice to the other kids”. I have to mention this father really wasn’t paying too much attention to his kids – he wasn’t on his phone or anything, but was staring off at the other side of the play place, and even when he was calling out to his son he wasn’t even looking at him.

I stayed close to make sure my son would still be ok. The other boy decided to poke his head in and started yelling at my son to get out because this was their fort. The first boy all of a sudden started hitting my son in the chest over and over really hard. I immediately ripped open the fort and pulled my shocked son out and told him everything was ok, and we were going to play elsewhere. The father of the boys said nothing even though I was practically standing on top of him while this all took place.

After this happened, I was seeing red for a few reasons.

First of all, the crazy momma bear was coming out in me when I saw someone pushing my son. He’s a sweet kid, and he really had no idea he was bothering anyone. The second I saw him being pushed I could feel my blood boiling. Was a over-reacting by being so upset? Probably. I just couldn’t help get upset when I saw that kid pushing my son.

These older boys were playing in an area clearly labelled was for toddlers to play in, so my son wasn’t wrong for wanting to play in that area. Yes it true those boys didn’t want to play with him, but it was difficult for me to explain to my toddler. Normally I wouldn’t care if older kids were playing in the wrong area because it’s not like all children obey signs or understand what certain boundaries are, but these kids were bullying everyone else in the area.

I was also really mad because the father who was sitting right there during all of this was not present in the situation at all. He just wasn’t paying attention, and when things escalated he had to of noticed, but didn’t say a word to his kids even though they were yelling at other children, and pushing my son right in front of him.

I think the thing that made me the most upset was that I felt like I really wished I scolded those children for bullying my son. I basically removed my son from the situation so he wouldn’t get hurt, and tried to explain to him why I was doing it so he didn’t think it was his fault. What stopped me from scolding those boys was that I didn’t think that it was my place to do so.

I felt like no one was telling these kids that what they were doing was wrong, but was it really my place to explain that to them? I have great relationships with my friends and family where I trust them enough to tell my son when he is doing something wrong. Often there is a better chance he will listen to them rather than me! I think it’s important that when he does something wrong it’s explained to him that his behaviour is wrong, and he is asked to correct it.

Is this something I am allowed to do with a stranger’s children? I think the answer I came up with was no, unless the behaviour is severe enough. If my son was seriously being hurt it may have been another story.

Although I was really upset by what happened to my son, he wasn’t seriously harmed by these boys. He didn’t even understand that he was being bullied. I was upset because I was the one understood what was happening, and that it was wrong.

What happened next made me feel a bit better. We moved to the other side of that section of the play place, and a few of the little girls who were also told they couldn’t play in the fort the boys had built asked me if I could make a fort they could play in. I began building a fort for all of the other kids in that area. Eventually one of those little boys who had hit my son walked over and asked if he could play in the fort I was making too. I told him yes, EVERYONE was allowed in the fort I was making, but there was no hitting allowed and everyone had to play nicely.

This made me feel a bit better – like I had in a round-about way explained what he had done was wrong. The result? Well a couple minutes later he kicked the fort I made over and ended up hitting the little girls who were playing in it. By then his father had left, obviously busy doing something else that didn’t involve his kids.

In the end did I do the right thing? I’m really not sure. It sure didn’t feel right because I was pretty sure those kids didn’t know they did something wrong. But in the end I realized it wasn’t up to me to scold those children about what they were doing. Maybe I could have said more to them about why what they did was wrong, but a good old fashioned scolding just didn’t feel right coming from me.

Thoughts? Do you think it’s ok to scold other people’s children?

Roxymandy November 10, 2014

How to Host a Teddy Bear Picnic + An Awesome Crustless Quiche Recipe

I’m really lucky to have Friday’s off to spend with my son. We are also lucky that we have an awesome group of friends who are also off on Friday’s too. London’s got some great friends that were born all at the time same he was, and we get together with them as much as possible for play dates.

I thought it would be cute to host a teddy bear’s picnic themed lunch for the kids. Looking around online I wasn’t re-inventing the wheel or anything – there were lots of ideas out there for this type of lunch.

I started with asking all of the kids who were coming to bring their own teddy bear’s to our house for the party. When each child arrived they were given a cute tag with their name on it so they could put their bear in Teddy Bear Daycare. I found some free printables on this website here, and they turned out really cute! I created the Teddy Bear Daycare sign myself, and I had the Daycare “Check-in” at the front door. I think it made the kids feel like this was a serious event for their bears!

I used the same website for a printable tag for water we had with lunch as well.

I kept the food pretty basic for this party – I have a tendancy to take things a bit overboard sometimes, so I tried to keep things really simple. For the adults I had salad, sandwiches, and a mushroom, feta and spinach quiche which I will talk about later when I share the recipe with you!

For fun I made rasp”berry” lemonade, and I added real raspberries and basil for flavour (and because it looked pretty too!).

For snacks I had Teddy Graham’s in a candy bowl, and everything was picnic themed in a checkered pattern.

For dessert I had macaroons, tarts, mini apple pies, and I made vanilla cupcakes decorated to look like there was a bee on a beehive. I made the bees out of jellybeans. I cut black and yellow jellybeans into strips to make the bee body, and added some white royal icing to make the wings. I was kind of annoyed because I had the perfect tip to make the beehive, but of course I couldn’t find it the morning of the party, and when a toddler is running around your feet when you are looking for something important, concessions are made. I had to settle with it not looking quite the way I imagined it!

Finally, the actual picnic!

I purchased a plaid table cloth at Homesense for $9.99 because it looked like the perfect picnic blanket. I just layered another blanket underneath so it was a bit more comfortable.

The idea was to first have the kids play for a bit, then take their bears out of daycare to have a picnic. They sat down with their bears on the picnic blanket, and I brought over a picnic basket full of plastic food to feed their bears. It was really cute to see them take it so serious and feed their bears lunch!

Finally it was time to feed the kids. I bought baskets to go with the picnic theme at a store called Wholesale Club where they sell restaurant supplies. Each basket was only $1.50. I added one of the checkered pattered napkins to make a cute picnic basket for their lunch.

In their baskets each child had an apple juice, fruit cup, a couple cerely sticks, a Bear Paw, and a sandwich.

It was a really fun theme to work with, and I think the kids had a good time!

For the adults I made a crustless quiche that I found on Budget Bytes that turned out really well! I have made a few good recipes from that website, and they have been really good. I changed up the recipe a bit, and I’ve added my own changes and step-by-step photos below as well.

To see the original recipe, visit the Budget Bytes website here. Like I said I changed it up a bit from the original.

Here is what I needed:

A handful of fresh spinach
One package of sliced mushrooms (I used cremini)
One clove of chopped garlic
2 oz of crumbled feta
4 eggs
One cup of milk
Half a cup of shredded Parmesan
One cup of shredded Mozzarella
Salt and Pepper
Olive Oil spray

Step one was to chop up the fresh spinach, and layer it along a baking pan. I sprayed the baking pan with olive oil spray so the quiche wouldn’t stick to the pan.

Next up I put the mushrooms and garlic into a frying pan and cooked them on medium until they were soft and there was no juice in the pan from the mushrooms. I added a little salt and pepper at this point as well.

Next up I added the mushrooms and garlic on top of the spinach.

I like to use Apetina Feta in water, and I took a few handfuls (2 oz-ish) and added them on top of the mushrooms.

In a separate bowl I wisked the four eggs, added milk and the parmesean cheese and some salt and pepper. I poured this onto the ingredients in the pan, and then put the mozzarella cheese on top. That’s it – super easy! It baked for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. The quiche was pretty yummy, and so easy to make. And easy is very important when you have to worry about throwing something in the oven in the middle of a party! I planned on having tea at the party as well with a really cute tea set I had, but I completely forgot in the middle of all the chaos. Oh well, now my next party theme will be a tea party!

Roxymandy November 3, 2014

Why Our Decision to Have Just One Child Should Be Ok With You

There wasn’t an exact moment I remember thinking to myself “I am only going to have one child”, but I remember the first time I felt like apologizing for it.

I am not the type of person that goes running around saying “I’ve decided I’m only having one child and that is such a great decision”. I’ve noticed there is a pattern in life – when you are dating someone then people ask you when are you getting engaged. When you are married people ask you when you are having children. When you have one child, people ask you when you are having your next.

It’s not that it’s a rude conversation to start up with someone, and I have become conscience of myself following the same pattern. People consider some steps in life to be logical, and if you fall outside one of those steps then suddenly what you are doing can be labelled as different.

When my husband and I decided our son would be our only child it wasn’t a sad decision – we were lucky enough to have the choice on what our family would look like, and we decided we were lucky and very blessed to have what we have. Plus we have a dog (a Yorkie at that) who is very demanding, and we consider him another child. Trust me, he’s high maintenance.

We’ve been open with friends and family on our decision to have one child. I can’t remember a time actually bringing up in conversation – it’s usually because it might be the topic of conversation, or because I have been asked directly.

I’ve found most of my good friends have acknowledged it and it’s not really a discussion or talking point – it’s just something that I am doing and they are ok with it.

It’s the other reaction that completely baffles me – the people who dismiss my decision as fleeting, or dare I say, act horrified at this decision we have made.

I have been told “you say that now, but you will change your mind when you hold a newborn again”. Sorry, I have held many newborn’s, and although it brings back awesome memories of my own son’s first few months, I’m still happy with my decision. This sort of reaction from others doesn’t upset me because it’s coming from a good place. It’s like someone saying, it’s ok to change your mind. At least that is what I am hoping they mean!

The worst reactions are unfortunately the most common – people actually tell me how it’s a terrible idea to have just one child, and explain how it will negatively affect my child.

It’s like people can’t control themselves. They feel so passionate about what I am doing that they need to tell me what I am doing is not right before I pass the point of no return.

This is expressed to me in so many different ways, but all of them are usually very blunt. I actually have been told my child will be lonely, sad, and will have something missing from his life. I am not talking about the people asking if I am worried these things will happen – that is an honest conversation I am willing to have. Ask me anytime because I am happy to talk about it. It’s the people who tell me these things are actually going to happen that bother me.

Here’s the good news – I know better than this. My son is amazing. I know, we all think our children are amazing, and I am no different – he is amazing. Our goal in life is to make sure our child is happy. We don’t care what school he goes to, what sports he does or doesn’t play, what profession he chooses – the bottom line is we want to provide him with a happy family life, and we want to support him in whatever makes him happy.

Knowing this, I wonder how people could automatically assume that his lack of siblings means he will somehow end up unhappy. I grew up with two siblings I loved very much, but my childhood happiness was not dependent soley on them. There are a lot of things that make up a happy life. Does the fact that you did or didn’t have happiness in your life stem from if you had siblings or not? Maybe so, but I refuse to allow people to define my son’s life based on our families decision.

As a concerned parent (who has become more concerned based on all of these revelations on how dismal my son’s life will be without siblings), I am making a conscience effort to make sure he has a busy social life. He has friends – great friends actually – that he knows by name and requests play dates with. He’s involved with sports, he meets new kids at the zoo, the playground, on family trips, at restaurants – so far he seems pretty adjusted to his life as an only child pretty well.

It’s impossible to forget all of these comments people have made about what they think will happen to my son as a result of our family’s decision to have just one child. What’s left for me is to do is what I would do if I had one child, or six children – do everything I can to make sure my child is safe, happy and loved. Beyond that, all I can do is write this little blog post letting you know that our decision to have one child should be ok with you.

Roxymandy November 3, 2014

Getting Creative With Chocolate With The Help Of Chocolate Tales !

When Chocolate Tales reached out to me and offered to have me attend one of their chocolate workshops, it was a no brainer for me to say yes. Along with a healthy supply of chips on each grocery list I create, there is always a spot for chocolate as well. If I had a small spot left in my cart and had to decide between broccoli or chocolate, chocolate wins every time.

I invited the most creative friend I know Stephanie to join me, and we set out to attend the Decorating with Chocolate class with Chocolate Tales. Classes are held at The Mad Bean Coffee House at Eglinton Ave. and Bathurst Street in Toronto.

It’s easy to register online for their classes, and they have a live calendar which shows what classes are running and when.

The Mad Bean Coffee House is cozy and covered with local art and photography, and they close in the evenings for private events, live music, and chocolate classes!

When we arrived we were offered complimentary coffee and tea, and we sat down at a station where we would do our chocolate decorating. The classes are kept quite small so you have a chance to ask as many questions as you would like, and you receive a lot of personal attention.

Our instructor was Coco Kelly, and she is very passionate about her craft! I learned a lot of things I had no idea about while attending this class. I am actually one of those people who didn’t know the caramel secret (I usually just eat chocolate – I don’t think about how it’s made!) but I learned how it was done that night. Sorry I’m not telling you how – ask Coco Kelly at your next class!

We learned about how to be creative with chocolate, and how to use moulds to create your own painted designs with them. The most interesting for me was using transfer sheets to add designs to your chocolate. I had no idea how to add designs like that to chocolate – I am so excited to do it on my own!

We created chocolates filled with ganache as well, and it was really neat to work with it and learn how to roll it. We had a little bit of extra time at the end of class and learned how to make chocolate shavings as well. This is when I lost all form of self-control and started eating what we created. If I had of taken a photo of myself at this point, there was likely chocolate on my face. Not pretty.

The best part was packaging our chocolates to go home! We were provided with bags, ribbon, a box and bag to take all of our designs home. I love wrapping and packaging up creations like this, so I thought it was a nice touch to take things home that way.

I had a lot of fun at the Decorating with Chocolate class! I really did learn a lot, and I think it’s a fun night out where you not only get to learn something, but you get to be creative. Oh, and you get to bring home tonnes of chocolate – there is nothing wrong with that.

To book your own class you can call their hotline at 1-800-905-2858, or book online on their website www.chocolatetales.ca. Chocolate Tales is currently offering a 45% discount on all of their workshops! Enter their promo code (you can find it online when choosing a workshop) to receive your discount.

They also have an online shop so you can try some of the things you learned in class at home which I thought was pretty cool. You can find their online shop here, and you can purchase some of their own chocolate, or the supplies you need to apply what you learned in class. You can even find some great how-to video’s to remind you of how to use their products.

For the holidays these transfers and moulds would be perfect to create your own Christmas gifts!

The only problem with attending a Chocolate Tales workshop? The chocolate coma you go into after eating everything you brought home. I was good and waited until the next day to open my cute packages of chocolate, but once I starting eating I couldn’t stop, and it pretty much brought that day’s productivity to a halt. Eat with caution – this is some spectacular chocolate, but make sure if you are going to binge on everything you brought home that you clear your schedule.

Roxymandy October 31, 2014

Stroller Social at the Gladstone Hotel

I can’t believe I didn’t know about this before!

The Gladstone Hotel (who I have written about here before) have what they call a Stroller Social running every Monday to Friday each week. From 10am to 4pm each weekday parents can take a break from their walk, park their strollers and enjoy a free cup of coffee while socializing with other parents.

How awesome is that? It takes place in the Melody Bar in the hotel.

I love this! I think it’s awesome when there is a place in Toronto where big bulky strollers are welcome, because it doesn’t happen often.

The Gladstone Hotel is located at 1214 Queen St W, Toronto, and for more details on the hotel you can visit www.gladstonehotel.com.